I’ve been struggling to think of anything interesting or relevant to blog about at the moment. Everything seems to have just suddenly been brought to a halt, and I seem to have nothing exciting happening at the moment. July has always been one of those months for me. No uni, no holidays, no plans, no nothing. But it’s OK to feel like everything has slowed down, I probably need this time to relax and have a bit of ME time…. which seems to consist of a lot of wine drinking and reading books. And yes – you’re right – I do sound like a divorced middle-aged woman. One thing I hate about myself sometimes is the fact that I always feel like I have to be doing something, going somewhere, seeing someone or having a plan for tomorrow. I can go a day just relaxing and doing nothing but once I’ve wallowed in my own thoughts for 24 hours, I seem to be unable to cope with another day of it. That’s what graduating is, that’s what finishing three years of uni seems to be 🙂 ( and I don’t even graduate until November haha!)
What I’m trying to (carelessly) say is that its OK to have no plans and it’s OK to not have a holiday coming up next week! You don’t have to always be doing what everyone else is doing. Give yourself time to relax, binge watch all three series’ of Gavin and Stacey or read that book that’s been sat on your shelf for 5 months, and go sit in the sun with a cheeky glass of fizz. You have probably worked really hard this year so treat yourself and do whatever you want to do this summer – but christ, give yourself a bit of a breather beforehand. Uni work and jobs shouldn’t always have to be the centre of attention right away – your well-being should come first.
Another annoying feeling that I have been getting at the moment is that little shit that creeps up on us sometimes after a great achievement – DOUBT. Doubting myself, doubting my abilities, doubts on what I should be doing after summer, doubting my ability to do a Masters, doubting EVERYTHING. The thing is, contrary to popular belief – success isn’t everything. Everyone has their own perception of success and achievement, and they will always be completely different. I find the smallest things an achievement some days, like ringing up and booking a hair appointment or even applying for a small part-time job. Don’t compare your successes to someone else’s – they can never be measured against one another. Your feelings of success should be personal to you. At this relevant time of year, when we are receiving dissertation marks and end of year results – just remember that success shouldn’t be represented by a number or a score out of 100. Your time at uni shouldn’t be just a score from an exam or an essay. You know how hard you worked or how many challenges you faced. That is success to me – your own personal achievements and your own feeling of pride for even the smallest of accomplishments. It’s sad that not everyone will see that, they will just ask you if you got a 1st or a 2:1, and unfortunately if they don’t know you well – that’s all they see. Yet, those classifications represent just the front cover of the book of your uni experience, it’s what inside that counts (cringe sorry). It’s the memories, the challenges you faced and overcame, the partying, the one mark you got that you are really proud of because you enjoyed that essay – little stuff like that.
It’s difficult, but don’t base your University success on your end of year results and marks. Success can be a 2:2 to some and a 1st to others, so don’t put pressure on yourself. Whatever the result this time of year was made for relaxing and sometimes doing absolutely fuck all, you’ve had enough stress throughout the year so it’s time to shake it all away and do whatever you want cos it’s summer time ayyyy!
“Success is not in what you have, but who you are.”